For my writing class, I was asked to write a raw, uncensored, unedited rant of the thing that broils my insides the most. That would be the critter who tried to get at me last night. The “divorce papers” have been filed with Jesus. Enjoy reading!
I’ve got some things to say to you. I’m sick of you thinking you can control my life. Who gave you that right?
Yeh, I know. You think because someone in my ancestral line back in the Viking Era opened the door to you, and that every one of us, ever since, has come out of the womb terrified … you think that gives you the right to meet us at the moment of our conception to say, “Boo!” I mean, come on. My Viking ancestors – afraid? Villagers at the mercy of the next raiding ship? Of course they were afraid! Who gave you the right to take advantage of their lives? Your rape and pillage of my ancestors is worse than anything an earthly enemy did to them.
And you kept it going for generations.
I didn’t know anything else but you. I never had a chance to know God or the blessings He had for me. I read the Bible in Sunday school when I was a kid, but I never saw the words in 2 Timothy 1:7: that God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and love and sound mind. You hid those words from me. You had no right!
Stop it. Don’t give me that excuse that you had rights because my ancestors lived in terror. I just told you how I feel about that.
I was a baby. Is that how you welcome a baby, a precious little girl, created by God – is that how you welcome her to the world?
And then you dog her every step. Nightmares. Chills up and down her spine. Closing herself up like a newborn flower scorched by poison. Making her withdraw, afraid to believe in the love she so desperately needs. Afraid to talk to God, to friends, family … anyone. Afraid of being hurt. Afraid of being afraid.
You are the worst of the critters, fear. Do you know that? Because you don’t just make people afraid. You make them afraid to be afraid. And you lull them by their fear. You offer fear as a crutch, as a way to get through terrifying situations.
“Be afraid, because that’s easier than feeling pain.”
What a wimpy and cruel way to seduce a mind.
“Here, be afraid. It’ll help you get through your fear.”
I am tired of walking with you, Mister Fear. Tired of believing your lies. Tired of being locked in chains that you stuck on me in the womb, when I was helpless to resist you. Tired of you telling me that yours is the only way to live.
You have shut me down for too long. You have stolen my identity and my voice and my joy and my peace and my life. Enough!
Who do you think you are? You are not God. He will destroy you. You know it too. That’s why you figure you’ll destroy as many of His kids as you can, on your way down.
I’ve had enough of your ways. You have walked with me too long and you have overstepped your bounds. Get out. Get out of my life, get out of my heart, get out of my mind … and get out of my world. This is the Kingdom of my God, and you do not belong. Leave His people alone.
I don’t care if you have “rights.” Guess who else has rights, and these are rights that supersede yours. The Holy Spirit. HE has rights. And guess what? As His daughter, I have the power to invoke those rights. I can invite Him into my heart, and into my home, and into my community, and into my world. I can invite His power to come and be and take over every single place that I walk, and speak, and write. I can invite His presence just by being somewhere. And you have to go.
Then people will have a chance to hear the truth. To feel the truth. To realize they are not bound forever by those cords you’ve wrapped around them, and tried to strangle them with.
Get out of my world, Fear. You are not wanted here. You are a violator, and the worst offender. You have nothing good to offer. Get out.
On second thought … now that I’ve finished this letter, I am not going to waste my time sending it to you. I am going to send it to my advocate, Jesus, and let Him be the one to read it out in court. You will get a summons from Him. Be ready. It’s already on its way. He is summoning you to court on my behalf, and there you will pick up your eviction papers. I will not see you ever again. And everywhere I go, I will speak the truth – that you have been evicted by my God. You have smothered your last precious life. You have strangled your last precious voice. You have squelched your last precious flame.
You are done. I am free. People everywhere are free of you now, because you have to go. If they don’t know it yet, they will find out very soon.
Goodbye, Fear. I will not miss you.