For a couple months, I’ve been facing something that is so hard. I feel paralyzed every time I think about it. I’ve crawled through years of trauma, one thing after another. Not only did Jesus bring me through it all; he began to turn things around and restore me. I finally reached a place of peace and calm. Two months later, this thing happened.
Because of all the Lord has done in my life, I find myself praising Him and thanking Him and just loving on Him, despite all of this. Even so, when the time comes to move in this “thing,” I find myself asking Him why, and telling Him I can’t do it. I’ve gone through too much. I just don’t have anything left. I need recovery, not another crisis.
Tonight I have to deal with something big, related to this ordeal, and I flat out don’t want to. I’m scared, overwhelmed. I started talking to God about it. He reminded me of something I heard very recently. It’s one of those things that I’ve known with my mind, but I think it just made its way to my heart, and I finally get it.
Someone was talking about how every trial we go through, God uses to shape us into who He created us to be, kind of like a rock going through a tumbler. We can’t begin to know how wonderful we will look and how wonderful our lives will be when He is done shaping us. We see our trials and circumstances with such a limited perspective. In the middle of a painful moment, we have to stop and realize God is crafting us into His finest work.
This is GOD we’re talking about. The Creator of ALL things. He doesn’t do shoddy work. In fact, He does the very finest work of all, ever. He is perfect and good and what He designs is more beautiful than anything. We can’t begin to imagine the beautiful creation He’s shaping us to be, through every trial, and through good times too.
I think about what a lump of clay goes through to become a stunning piece of pottery. Imagine if the clay could think and feel. What would it think about you, the potter? Good grief! First you throw it down, then start spinning it around, making it dizzy and nauseous. Then you start pinching and squeezing and stretching. Ohmygosh. Never mind what’s going through its mind as you throw it in the fire: “Are you nuts! What are you doing! You’re killing me!” The clay has no idea that it’s about to become your finest work of pottery, that its beauty will be unparalleled, and that you look on it with such love. It has no idea. But you do. You know what you’re doing, you know what you’re creating. The clay has to trust you.
I felt like God was asking me: “Will you embrace this moment of pain?” He knows it’s tough. He knows exactly what I’ve gone through; He knows I’m tired of trauma; and He knows exactly how painful this circumstance feels. But He’s asking: “Will you trust Me?”
And I can only answer one way:
Yes, God, I’ll trust You. It’s gonna be worth it. Don’t let me look on this traumatic moment from the perspective of my tiny human mind. Lift me up to where YOU are. Remind me that You’re shaping me into something incredible beyond words.
I’ve seen beautiful creations in this world, made by man – art, music, sculpture, you name it. Beautiful, mind-blowing, prize-winning work. And THIS IS GOD!!!!! Whatever He shapes me to be, I know I’m gonna love it beyond imagining. It’s gonna be amazing. Words can’t describe. It’s gonna be worth it.
So yes. Yes, I’ll trust Him. And yes, I’ll embrace this moment, with His help. Have Your way, Lord. Use everything to make me who YOU want me to be. Thank You for giving me life!